Tuesday 3 November 2015

Starting Fresh



Hello November.

The last time I bothered to write anything here was in August. How terrible is that?  I'm not going to list the excuses I have, as it would be a waste of time but in my defence I've had an incredibly hard year. Health issues (stress/anxiety - more on that another time) and also with a major 2 year long project at work. When you're at a computer screen for 8+ hours at work, the thought of then picking up your MAC Book to write blog posts really doesn't feel that good.  It's can be time consuming just washing my hair, let alone being good and hitting the gym four times a week!

Now enough of that ... lets continue. 

I started this blog in order help myself and perhaps help and inspire others. I love to help in any shape or form. I like to think I'm quite a supportive person - If anyone needs a shoulder I'm usually the shoulder. However right now I don't feel like an inspiration to others let alone myself.  Since March I have gained weight (this is also the same time I was dealing with stress and anxiety - double blow). I have gained over one stone (16 pounds). You might think that's nothing and to be honest I've had people say the same to my face. But to me it is - everyone is different. I am only 5ft 3/4 inches tall - basically 5ft1 and gaining 14 plus pounds is a lot for my body to handle.  It's difficult to try and be a better person when you're being fed sandwiches at meetings and there is always a fat Friday with doughnuts and cake brought in for everyone. There is only so much will power you can have before it dries up!  And as for a support network around me... well that's a whole other blog post right there. 

I now need to start a fresh. As I write this I'm sitting on the tube going to the gym. It's 6 something am!  I used to a big gym bunny.... four times a week - slimmer, fitter (I don't use the term skinny as I don't like that word). I loved weight lifting and HITT. I used to have this buzz run through me - I was more confident, fitter and was generally happy with life. Now a U-turn has happened and I'm not oozing confidence, I'm not happy and just feel like I want to eat myself to death.  I really need to change my life and make efforts to get healthier before and has an terrible impact on me. I just need to figure out a way - help! 

XAX

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